One Last Risk Page 19

  “Lucas,” she pleaded.

  “Patience, beautiful.” He continued the slow process until he reached her breasts. Then he pulled the shirt over her head but left it wrapped around her wrists.

  “Lucas.” She wasn’t above begging, or anything else, to get him to move along. She couldn’t take much more of this. She wriggled her hips, reaching for him.

  He ran his tongue along the edge of her lacy bra before dipping and nuzzling between her breasts. A gentle kiss, a fluttering against her skin. Her body craved him, begged for his tongue everywhere on her. Finally, he flipped the front hook and slid the cups aside.

  Cool air blew across her nipples, the sensitive nubs tingling. She arched her back, reaching for the brush of his shirt against her bare skin. Her breasts grew more sensitive with each passing moment. If only she could caress them, to soothe her need, but she left her hands above her head.

  Lucas settled over her. A moan built deep in her gut, her body overwhelmed with sensation. She arched, her nipples burning from the brush of his shirt against her.

  He whispered a single word against her lips. “Beautiful.”

  At this moment, she felt beautiful, and cherished, and loved. Everything he did, his tenderness, his touch, told her without words that he loved her.

  He slid his thigh between her legs and nudged his knee against her core. She wiggled against him, but nothing relieved the ache in her core.

  He cupped her breast and licked around her nipple. The intensity of his touch on so much of her body at once was overwhelming—and not nearly enough. He pinched her aching nub between his fingers.

  She arched off the bed. Her body begged for what he wouldn’t give her. He repeated the attention on the other breast. Licking and caressing, stroking and sucking, driving her closer to an orgasm just from his touch.

  “Lucas, please. I want to touch you.”

  He reached behind his back and pulled his shirt off. Finally, she could feel his skin against hers. She rubbed her cheek against the smooth planes of his abs, the soft hairs on his chest scratching her sensitive skin.

  She’d had enough. It was time to move this along. He’d had his fun, now it was her turn. She flung her shirt off her wrists. With her hands finally free, she could touch him, tracing the hills and valleys of his chest and along his shoulders.

  He closed his eyes and his breath hitched.

  She liked having this kind of power over him, the ability to bring him to his knees with her touch. She continued the exploration with her lips. A sheen of sweat coated his skin, smelling of musk and arousal.

  He moaned.

  She pressed her tongue to one flat nipple.

  “Oh, God, Sarah. You’re driving me crazy.”

  After she worked both into tight peaks, she lowered herself onto the bed, dragging him with her. The rough brush of his hair against her sensitive skin sent another jolt through her body.

  “That feels so good,” she said on an exhale.

  He plunged his tongue into her mouth as he trailed his hand along her side, skimmed her breast, and slid down her belly.

  He found the button of her jeans and flipped it open, tickling her as he slid the zipper down.

  She wiggled her hips, trying to move him toward her core, weeping when he touched everywhere but where she needed him the most. He tortured her with his slow, methodical seduction. She panted. “I need you… faster.”

  He dipped inside her panties and ran a single digit around her core. She clenched her muscles, trying to pull him closer. He stroked again and then thrust in two fingers. He withdrew them and circled around the outside again.

  She arched her back off the bed, a moan escaping from deep in her throat. Her breathing grew more ragged.

  He thrust his tongue into her mouth at the same time he drove his fingers back inside her, hooking them to graze the spot that would drive her over the edge.

  She gasped and everything went dark as her eyes rolled back in her head.

  “You’re so responsive to my touch. Open your eyes. Look at me. I want to see you.”

  She slowly locked her gaze with his. He stared deeply into her eyes and increased the speed of his stroke, brushing his thumb over her sensitive nub. Her muscles tensed and her hips bucked over and over as she reached for the release her body craved. Her hands dug into his back, his arms, anything to hold on to. She fought to keep her eyes on him. Her muscles clenched around his fingers and with one more caress, she rocketed over. She slammed her eyes shut, concentrating on the waves of pleasure coursing through her body.

  “Oh God. Oh God.” Her entire body shuddered. He continued to tease as her core muscles rippled, tightening around him.

  He withdrew his fingers and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her to the bed with his weight. He placed his lips against hers. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. You are so beautiful.”

  She pulled him to her and kissed him. Her body craved the weight of him pressed down on her. After giving herself over to him, she felt exposed and vulnerable.

  “Are you okay, honey?” He ran his finger along her cheek. Only then did she realize she was crying.

  “I’m alright. I’m perfect. That was… wow.”

  He smirked, showing a bit of the cockiness she had come to love. “Speechless, huh?”

  She smiled at him. “I didn’t think it could get any better, but each time I’m with you feels new and different and wonderful.”

  He rolled off her.

  “Don’t leave.”

  He laid back over her and placed another gentle kiss on her lips. “I’m not going anywhere.” He reached for the button of his jeans.

  “Wait.” She dangled her legs over the edge of the bed in front of him. The cut muscles of his abdomen begged to be touched. She stroked them then kissed the along the ridges.

  She continued to stroke as he gave himself over to her. She trailed her fingers down the line of hair to the button of his jeans. She teased him as much as he’d teased her.

  She released the button and slowly pulled the zipper down. His abdominal muscles twitched with each tortuous click. With each inch lower, she exposed his skin and hair around his cock.

  “Commando, huh?”

  He smirked. He was way too smug for his own good. She knew exactly what to do about that.

  She teased around his thickening erection, and then returning to the waistband of his jeans.

  He groaned. “You’re killing me here.”

  She grinned. She felt bold and empowered.

  “That’s enough.” He yanked his jeans off and stepped out of them. His erection sprang to life and bounced against his belly.

  A new wave of arousal swept through her body. The soft skin over his thick shaft called to her. She reached for him, but he pushed her back onto the bed and straddled her thighs. With his eyes locked on hers, he grabbed the condom.

  “Let me.” When had she gotten so bold? It was Lucas. Everything about him made her want more. Want everything. She took the condom from his hand and ripped the package open. She slowly rolled it on, squeezing him along the way. After he was fully sheathed, she gripped the base of his cock.

  He groaned and pushed her back to the bed. With Lucas, she felt powerful, adventurous. She wanted to do things with him, to give herself fully to him.

  He lifted her legs, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips then entered her, one slow inch at a time.

  She clenched her muscles around him. When he growled, she smiled.

  He withdrew slightly and then drove in until his pelvis was flush against hers. Only then did she release the breath she held and threw her head back.

  He pulled back almost completely and then thrust in again. The impact forced a groan from her throat. They quickly found their rhythm, something that had come easily after they first made love. She met him thrust for thrust as their bodies came together intimately. His breathing grew ragged above her, his movements faster. Her internal muscles twitched and gri
pped him harder.

  Her eyes closed, and her muscles spasmed around him. Her channel clenched him like a vise, squeezing against the hard shaft that had invaded her. As she continued to clench, he drove into her until he groaned through his own orgasm and collapsed over her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  LUCAS BOUNCED HIS knee as he sat in the same uncomfortable plastic chair he’d sat in the first time he visited the shrink’s office. This would hopefully be his last appointment with Dr. James. From the moment Cap sent him here, he’d questioned the man’s sanity. As time went by, though, his opinion of her changed. She’d made him think about things differently—to look at the world and his role in it in another way. He understood now how he had allowed his guilt to consume him, to drive him in a self-destructive direction. More than that, he now had a reason to live—a reason that put his entire career in perspective.

  Sarah. Their relationship had reached a new level last week. She’d opened up to him at a vulnerable moment, shared her grief over her husband, yet had still given herself to him. Her blonde hair spread out on her pillow, her hooded eyes as she gave in to the pleasure, and the round curve of her hips made his stomach clench and his skin itch to touch them even now. He placed his hands on his lap. He recited multiplication tables in his head—he didn’t think it would be appropriate to walk into the shrink’s office in his current state. It didn’t work. He could almost feel Sarah’s long, sexy legs wrapped around his waist. He tried to calculate fire spark times based on various accelerants, travel paths based on inherent fuel—anything to calm himself down. His tight shoulder muscles loosened. Yep, thinking about fires did it every time.

  The office door opened. “Lucas, come on in.”

  He hopped from the chair and followed Dr. James. The couch that once mocked him now comforted him. What once was a symbol of his guilt was now welcoming, inviting him to share his thoughts and feelings, knowing he’d turned the corner. He crossed the room and sat, Dr. James to his left. During his time with her, he’d become more and more comfortable and their current positions reflected that.

  He stretched his arms along the back of the couch and crossed his ankles in front of him. “It’s been a good week.”

  “Great. Tell me about it.”

  He hadn’t told her much about Sarah before now. He certainly hadn’t told her he’d slept with her. No, correct that—they’d made love together. There was no other way to describe what had happened with Sarah. So today, he opened up about his growing relationship with Sarah. He shared about her grief. He didn’t want to betray Sarah’s confidence, but he wanted the doctor to understand the position he found himself in. He’d fallen in love with a woman who was still mourning her dead husband—someone who may always be in love with the man. Despite that, Lucas hadn’t felt Alex there when they’d made love.

  “So, what if she’s never able to say she’s no longer in love with him, Lucas?”

  He must have stopped talking. “What? Oh, I’m not sure. I don’t like being second. I wish I had been the one to meet her and marry her first. But, I’m here now and he’s not. That may sound callous, but it’s reality. But, I don’t know… I’m not sure how I feel. You know? It’s great when I’m with her. I can’t help but wonder though if she wants me to be…. If she wishes I was him.”

  “That’s fair. What does she think about you being a firefighter? That’s got to color her perspective on this situation.”

  Crap. He’d gone to Sarah’s house last week determined to tell her everything, to lay it all on the table. But when he’d found her as he did, it wasn’t the right time. She needed comfort, not his guilt dumped in her lap. He hadn’t intended to leave without telling her—again—but when she looked at him the way she did, and when they ended up making love, all thoughts of his career were gone. Again. It was just him and her, in the moment, and nothing else mattered.

  “She doesn’t know.”

  Dr. James scratched away on her notepad. “Do you think that was smart, taking your relationship to the next level while withholding that important piece of information?”

  “Probably not, but that’s not how it happened, exactly. We were together, yes, and then I had decided to tell her everything. I went over there planning to explain, over and over if I had to, until she understood.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “No, I didn’t. It didn’t seem the right time.”

  “You made love with her anyway?”

  “Can I plead temporary insanity?” He tried to lighten the mood. The doctor had become the voice in his head, and he didn’t like the direction that voice headed.

  “Come on, Lucas. That’s taking the easy way out. That’s not you. You know what you should have done and didn’t. Now what are you going to do about it?”

  He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know.”

  She didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. At this point, he’d learned that her silences meant he already knew the answer and just had to figure it out for himself. He knew what he needed to do, but didn’t know how to go about it. Would Sarah feel betrayed that he hadn’t told her? He couldn’t be sure.

  “So, your sixty days is almost up. I’ll be preparing my report to your captain after this session. How do you feel about that?”

  He looked up at the doctor. She could have prodded him, needled him about Sarah, but she didn’t. She’d done her job and made him think about it. She’d leave him to clean up his own mess now. “It’s actually been an eye-opening sixty days. I love being a firefighter. It’s in my blood. It’s who I am. But, I’ve also enjoyed working with Stacey. I’m helping people in ways I hadn’t envisioned. And it feels good. Really good. I’m going to talk to the captain about split duty. I still want to work on the engine but it’ll be with a new perspective.”

  “Tell me about that.”

  “I understand better about what happened with Shawn. He died doing something he loved. We did everything right—and he died anyway. Regena, his wife, is doing great. She and Eli have moved on with their lives. I miss him, but I think I’m finally ready to give life another chance. What I did, how I acted, didn’t help the situation. I understand that now. I certainly wasn’t thinking straight. On top of that, I feel like I have a reason to be safe now.”

  After what Sarah had been through with Alex, Lucas wouldn’t subject her to that kind of fear again. He couldn’t take the risks and be with her. He knew what it would do to her if he died. And he planned to be by her side for a long time. He and Sarah and Lily. Together.

  “Lucas, your perspective on Shawn’s death needs to be independent of your feelings for Sarah. You need to want to be safe, to want to live, for yourself. Otherwise, what do you think will happen if things end with Sarah, or God forbid, something happened to her?”

  Wait, what? He hadn’t thought about it that way. He wanted to live. For himself. For his family. For Sarah. All those feelings were wrapped up in each other and he couldn’t separate them. What would happen if he lost her? What if she couldn’t handle his job? Would all the progress he’d made be lost?

  “I see I’ve given you something to think about.” She flipped her wrist and looked at her watch. “Our time’s about up.”

  He looked back to the doctor, his knee bouncing and his palms sweaty. “What’s your report going to say?”

  “I’m recommending you to return to full duty, Lucas. You’ve worked hard these past sixty days. I want you to think about what we’ve talked about here. My door is always open—the captain doesn’t have to refer you for you to come see me. Don’t forget that.”

  He stood and extended his hand. “Thanks, doc. I appreciate it. I’ll think about it.”

  Dr. James shook his hand and escorted him out the door.

  Lucas jogged down the stairs. He was close to getting back his first love—firefighting—but what should he do about Sarah? He needed a new plan. A way to explain everything to her so she’d understand. She’d likely be mad, but he just had t
o convince her everything would be okay.

  He stepped out the door and onto the sidewalk, pulling up short before he collided with the woman walking by.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled, his mind still focused on Sarah.

  “Hey, Lucas.”

  He lifted his head to Regena’s broad smile and a scowling Eli being dragged behind her.

  “Hey, Regena.” He looked down. “Hey, buddy, how are you doing?”

  “Unka Lucas,” Eli cried and leapt into Lucas’s arms. He laughed and wrapped Eli up in a hug.

  “We’re on our way to the p-a-r-k.” Regena leaned in toward him, her voice a whisper. “I don’t want to say it out loud because I don’t want to chase him across traffic to get there.”

  “How about I join you guys?”

  “Sounds great.”

  He threw Eli over his shoulder, his head hanging down Lucas’s back and Lucas’s arms wrapped around Eli’s knees. Both mother and son laughed as they headed across the street to the town green. As soon as they entered the park, Lucas flipped Eli and lowered him to the ground. His little feet took off toward the playset, the adults barely an afterthought. Regena sat on a nearby bench and Lucas sat beside her.

  “So, how have you been? It’s been a while.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been busy.”

  “I’ve heard.”

  He chuckled. The Oak Grove grapevine was in top form. He was actually surprised Sarah hadn’t already learned about his career from someone in town. All the more reason to find a way to explain everything sooner rather than later. Dr. James’s words ran through his head, along with everything that had happened over the past couple of months.

  “You want to tell me about her?”

  “I love her,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “But…” She waited for him to fill in the blanks.

  “She’s great… and… damn… she’s beautiful and sexy and sweet and, she’s… I don’t know… everything. She’s so strong. She’s raising Lily by herself, and she’s doing great. I frankly don’t know how she does it day in and day out. Lily, her daughter, is precious.”