Chasing Hope Page 9

  Maddie waved her hands as she spoke, and her energy was contagious. By the time she had finished laying out her plans, he was feeling better about his prospects for the future than he had in a long time. And not just concerning the store. Their relationship, too. They had always worked well together, when they weren’t mired down by everyday stresses. “These plans sound wonderful, Maddie. You’re really good at this.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You know, I’m sure I’m not the only business in Cedar Hill that struggles with the competition in Philly. You should consider setting up your own marketing business. It’s something you could work part-time while Aiden’s in school.” She had that sparkle in her eye that he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. If coming up with ideas put that gleam in her eye, he’d do anything possible to help her keep it there.

  “I’ll think about it. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until you mentioned the store. But once I started brainstorming ideas and researching current trends on the internet, it all came back to me. I forgot how much energy I gain from formulating ideas. It hardly felt like work. But in the meantime, we have a lot to do to get Sports Day going.”

  “When were you considering holding this fantastic event?”

  She hesitated. He wasn’t going to like this, was he? “The second weekend in April.”

  “That’s only three weeks!”

  “I know, but you want to hit the beginning of the spring sports season. It’s gonna be a lot of work, but I think we can pull it off.”

  He raised his eyebrows. It sounded like she was in for just more than ideas. “We?”

  “Of course. You didn’t expect me to throw all these ideas at you and then hang you out to dry, did you?”

  Well, kinda. And he couldn’t exactly blame her. He had moved out. She could have wanted nothing to do with him. Thank God that wasn’t the case. For the first time in a long time, he had hope that they could find their way back to each other.

  She leaned in closer. “You did, didn’t you?”

  “Not really. But I wouldn’t blame you. I mean, I left you.”

  “Wait right there. You may have been the one to leave, but that just means that you were the braver one. There’s plenty of blame to go around, and I only wish I had seen what was going on sooner. That I hadn’t allowed us, or myself, to get to that place.”

  “You’re doing better. I can already see it.”

  A huge smile broke out on her face. “Thanks. I’m trying really hard. Getting out of the house more. Doing some of the things that I have neglected.”

  “And what about…” He left his question hanging out there. He wasn’t sure how to ask in a way that wouldn’t upset her. It was a dance he had danced frequently the last few months of their marriage.

  “I try not to look at the calendar so much, but…” A tear pooled in the corner of her eye.

  He couldn’t stand it when Maddie was upset. He rounded the desk and folded her into his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin, and it felt right. Like that was where she belonged. She did. They had just lost their way, but they were finding it again.

  He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, his breath matching hers as they held each other. She finally pushed up and he let her go. She swiped under her eyes and then steeled her shoulders like he’d seen her do so much recently. He recognized the tactic as she was physically putting on a strong face to protect herself from the hurt.

  “I’m sorry. I think I’m doing better and then something comes up that reminds me.”

  He tucked his hand under her chin and tilted her face up until she met his gaze, her eyes wide. “You don’t have to apologize to me. We’ve wanted a baby for a long time. Right now, you’re mourning the fact that you haven’t gotten that dream. I get it. I really do. I want to help you through this.”

  “While you’re living somewhere else, though.”

  He grimaced. Yeah, he wasn’t ready to move back home. They had a lot to work through before that could happen. “I know it’s hard with me not there. But you have to admit that we’re getting along better since I’ve been staying at the cottage.”

  “You’re right. It’s just hard sometimes. Just because you’re staying somewhere else doesn’t mean you can’t spend time at the house, though. Spend more time with Aiden. He misses his Daddy. You could come to dinner tonight.”

  Crap. There was nowhere he’d rather be. But he’d already made plans for his sisters to come by the guest house tonight. It had taken a lot of coordination to get everyone’s schedule to synch up and he couldn’t reschedule.

  She lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry. I guess you’re not ready yet.”

  “Maddie, it’s not that. The girls are coming over tonight. We have to talk about Rachel.” There, he’d said her name without a burn in his throat. Just the thought of his half-sister made his rage with his father flare. How could Dad do that to Mom? And how could he then abandon the girl, never to see her again? He would never understand how a man could do that. That was why Justin was working so hard to save his marriage. He might have lived in a broken home but he was determined that his son wouldn’t. “But how about tomorrow night?”

  Her head popped up at that. “That sounds great. But I’m not going to tell Aiden until right before dinner.”

  “I’ll be there, Maddie. I promise.”

  She chuckled. “Oh, I know that. But he’ll be unbearable if I tell him any sooner.”

  He laughed and pulled her against him. This hug was not one of comfort, and his body quickly responded. Her breath hitched as her gaze locked with his, and her pulse beat rapidly in her neck. She was having as much trouble as he was with being close together.

  He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. Once, and then again. He tilted her head, shifting so he could deepen the kiss—

  A throat cleared behind him. He huffed out a breath and lifted his head, not letting go of Maddie. She was in his arms and he wanted her there as long as possible. “What is it, Chris?”

  “You’ve got a delivery from Spaulding. The driver insists on speaking with you before he’ll drop the shipment.”

  “Tell him I’ll be right out.” He turned back to Maddie. “Duty calls.”

  She nodded. “That’s okay. I need to be going anyway. We can talk about the next steps for Sports Day at dinner tomorrow night.”

  “That’s a deal.”

  He yanked his T-shirt out to cover the bulge in his jeans. Maddie raised her eyebrows in question.

  “You did that to me.”

  She smiled at him and gathered her papers. As he was walking her out to the front of the store, she stretched up and whispered in his ear. “You have no idea what you did to me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Justin paced around the living room of the guest cottage, reminded of a similar meeting he had with his siblings last summer. When Izzy still lived here. At the time, they’d just found out that their father had cheated on their mother and the result of one of his apparently numerous affairs was a half-sister. She’d reached out to Dad’s attorney and asked for information about the family. His sisters wanted to meet this woman they’d never heard about, and he’d begrudgingly agreed.

  And then nothing.... until a few weeks ago. Mr. Flemming had called. Rachel was ready to meet them. He hadn’t told the girls yet—too wrapped up in his own troubles to borrow more with a half-sister he wasn’t sure he wanted in his life. But he’d waited long enough. They deserved to know.

  Just as he turned on his phone to check the time, Izzy bounded through the door, Freddie prancing happily on his three legs, beside her, on a leash.

  He raised his eyebrow. His sister and her Jack Russell were quite the pair.

  “What can I say? He missed the old place.”

  “He’s a dog. As long as he has a warm bed and a full belly, he’s happy.”

  Izzy scooped him up, cuddling him to her cheek. “That’s not all you are, is it, sweetie? You like to play
ball and give kisses.” She chuckled as he did exactly that, his tongue darting across her mouth.

  Before he could close the door, Serena burst through it. Thankfully she didn’t have any animals with her tonight. That might be a first. She was always begging one or the other of them to foster an at-risk animal from her shelter. He’d had any number of cats and dogs, and even a ferret one time. But he and Maddie had wanted to wait until Aiden was older before they chose a family pet. Taking care of a dog or cat would be a great way for Aiden to learn responsibility. Then their marriage headed in a southerly direction and an animal had been the furthest thing from his mind. Besides, why would he subject an animal to the upheaval he himself had escaped?

  “Hey, big brother.” Serena stretched up and pecked his cheek. He didn’t know how the spunkier of his twin sisters always kept such a positive attitude, especially dealing with some of the saddest cases of animal neglect and cruelty. But Serena had a big heart and never let anything get her down. “Has anyone heard from Alexis? I texted her earlier and she didn’t answer.”

  “She told me she was coming, but that was about it. Come to think of it, I haven’t spoken to her in a while. But I’ve had other things on my mind recently.” Like how he was going to fix a relationship that had skidded completely into the ditch. Working at the store with Maddie today had been great. Except for that one moment at the end when she got upset thinking about having a baby, they had worked together like they used to. If only Chris hadn’t interrupted before he could really kiss Maddie. It had been all he could do to not lock the door and make good use of the desk.

  “Wow, big brother. What put that smile on your face?”

  He hadn’t realized he was smiling. But if thinking of Maddie could make him smile, he had hope that he could bring the romance back into their relationship. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “Before I forget, I have something I need your help with. Remind me to talk about it after we’re done.”

  He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She would beg him to help with whatever project she had, he would protest, throw up any number of reasons why he couldn’t, and in the end, he’d be there anyway. Serena knew this about him. She should just put the events straight onto his calendar—it would certainly be easier. And quicker.

  Izzy ambled into the living room from the kitchen where she had obviously helped herself to one of his beers. She tipped the brown bottle up and drew a long gulp, sighing as she lowered the bottle. “That’s good.”

  “You don’t have your own beer at home?”

  “Turnabout is fair play. You always drank my beer when I lived here, and I figured it was the responsibility of the host to provide the refreshments.” The humor in her voice wasn’t lost on him. Yeah, he’d spent his fair share of hours hanging out with Izzy before she moved in with Tanner. He’d been able to escape the strain in his own home and get a fresh cup of hi-test coffee or a beer at a time Maddie had forbidden it. Little had he known that this would end up becoming his house after all.

  He checked his phone again. “I wonder what could be keeping Alexis.”

  Izzy collapsed onto the couch. “Let’s start without her. Tanner is waiting for me to come home.” She waggled her eyebrows at the two of them and Serena giggled. It wasn’t like Justin didn’t know the reality of Izzy’s relationship with Tanner, but he didn’t like thinking about his baby sister all grown up.

  But all of his sisters were adults. And so was Rachel, the woman who was asking to meet them.

  “I guess you’re right. Serena can catch her up later.” It’s not like they wouldn’t discuss it anyway. Despite the concerns they had expressed about Alexis recently, Serena and her twin were still close.

  Justin sank into the chair beside the fireplace. Izzy had always said this was her favorite place to sit and read a book or just relax, and he could see why. Mom had done a good job when she’d decorated this room. He was thankful she hadn’t already re-rented the cottage to tenants after Izzy had announced her engagement to Tanner. Having this option had made his decision to take a break from his marriage that much easier. But who knows? Maybe it shouldn’t be that easy to separate, or whatever it was he and Maddie were now.

  Either way, it was done.

  And it wasn’t just good for him. There were noticeable changes in Maddie since he’d moved out. Some of the shadows that haunted her had lifted, and she smiled a lot more. And she’d come into the store today. That was a huge step. They hadn’t had much time to talk about their marriage and what needed to heal, but maybe they’d have a chance for that tomorrow at dinner. He may not have been back except to pick her up for their date, but that didn’t mean he didn’t drive by almost every day, parking down the street and staring at the windows. He knew each night when Aiden went to bed, the pale blue light in his bedroom window going dark. If only Justin could be there to tuck him in.

  He hadn’t spent enough time with Aiden since he moved out. That was something that had to change.

  “Justin?”

  “Oh, yeah, sorry.”

  The door swung open and Alexis made her way into the cottage. She was moving slower than she normally did. She’d never had the same level of energy and enthusiasm as her twin, but the differences between her and Serena had become significant. Alexis didn’t look good. Her eyes were bloodshot and shadows haunted them. Like she wasn’t sleeping. Much like he had looked when he and Maddie were struggling to get pregnant.

  He crossed the room and pulled his sister into his arms. She stiffened for a minute and then relaxed. He leaned close and whispered so only she could hear. “Everything okay?”

  She nodded against his chest. He didn’t believe her. Not for one minute. But he couldn’t borrow more trouble than he could handle right now.

  “I was just getting ready to talk about my phone call with Mr. Flemming.” He returned to his chair and Alexis perched on the couch next to Serena. Serena threw her sister a glance, and Alexis tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. The twins had always been able to communicate without words, ever since they were little. It was clear that Serena was as concerned about Alexis as he was.

  “Is Rachel ready to meet with us?” Izzy practically vibrated with excitement. She had been wary at first, like all of them, when they’d found out they had a half-sister. But she’d come around. Justin still wasn’t sure about meeting this woman, but this wasn’t his decision to make alone. It affected all of them, including Mom.

  “She called Mr. Flemming a couple of weeks ago. She’s finally ready. Turns out she’s taking classes at UPenn and comes into the city several times a week.”

  Izzy sat up taller. “A couple of weeks ago? And you’re just now telling us?”

  He shot Izzy a look and she shrunk back. He’d had some other stuff to deal with recently, and she knew it.

  “Sorry.”

  “When does she want to meet?” Alexis’s question surprised him as she had been the one most wary of meeting their half-sister. She hadn’t wanted anything to do with Rachel when they’d first heard about her. “And what about Mom?”

  Izzy jumped back into the conversation. “Mom already knew about Rachel. Dad always said that if she came asking about us, that Mr. Flemming was to give her our information. He left it up to her whether she wanted to reach out. We owe it to Rachel to meet her, don’t you think? Aren’t you the least bit curious about her? I know I am.”

  Alexis just shrugged. She’d always said she felt lost in their family, that as the youngest and a twin, she never had an identity of her own. Now add in another half-sister, and he couldn’t blame Alexis for being cautious. But it wasn’t like Dad was around anymore to divide his time with their new-found sister. Shoot, from the way Mom told it, Dad hadn’t seen Rachel since right after she was born. That had to hurt. He couldn’t imagine if one of his parents had written him off like that.

  That was why it was so important for Aiden to know that Justin was still in his life, even if he wasn’t
with Maddie. But Justin wasn’t ready to give up on his marriage just yet.

  “It’s up to us. Mr. Flemming gave me her cell phone number. She said to contact her when we’re ready to meet. At this point, I’ll do whatever you guys decide.”

  “I say we meet her. I still can’t believe we have another sister,” Serena said.

  “I agree. It’s been long enough,” Izzy added.

  Justin’s gaze landed on Alexis. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt and glanced at her twin before adding in her own two cents. “Whatever you guys think is best.”

  He hurt for his sister and whatever demons she was dealing with right now. Of all of them, she seemed to be the one who’d struggled the most to find what she wanted out of life. It was something their Dad had tried to instill in him from an early age. Shoot, Justin may never have been a professional baseball player if it hadn’t been for Dad. There were many nights it was just the two of them in the backyard, Dad lobbing fly balls over and over until Justin collapsed from exhaustion. But by the time Justin was a teenager, Dad didn’t play catch anymore. Dad barely made it through dinner without passing out drunk.

  He had been at his worst when the girls were little and Justin tried as hard as he could to protect them from his tirades. It didn’t always work.

  “Should I text her now? Or maybe call her. I have no clue what the proper protocol is for reaching out to the sister you never knew you had.”

  “Text,” Serena and Izzy shouted in unison.

  Well that was that. He swiped his thumb across his screen to turn on his phone. He’d already saved Rachel’s contact information, afraid he would misplace it before they could meet. He started typing. This is Justin Harper. Mr. Flemming gave me your information. My sisters and I would like to meet you.

  Justin slid his phone back on the table. “There. I’ll let you guys know when she answers.”

  Izzy leapt up from the couch and Freddie circled her feet, barking and nipping at her ankles. “So that’s all?”