One Last Risk Read online

  He slid his feet into his bunker pants, the feel comfortable and familiar in his hands. After he fastened them around his waist, he approached the hooks on the wall to find his turnout coat hanging in its assigned spot… where it belonged. Lucas ran his hand down the arm of the coat that had been stashed in storage since his suspension. Damn, it felt right beneath his fingers. But as much as he had missed firefighting during his suspension, the coat didn’t mean quite the same thing to him as before. Because his identity was no longer wrapped up in being a firefighter. He was so much more than that now, and it was all because of Sarah.

  He found his boots in the box in the corner and pulled them on his feet. After securing his pants, he stepped out of both and left them at the ready in front of his stall beneath his turnout coat.

  He lifted his helmet off the shelf above the coats and smoothed his fingers over the big number one on the front. Their company. The number he’d worn with pride for all these years. He spun the hat around and smiled at his name proudly displayed on the back. He slid it on his head and tightened the strap. That felt right... snug and right. He’d finally come home.

  Lucas walked over to the engine and pulled open the back door. He gripped the handle and paused. This spot, this engine had been so important to him, and was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to assume again. Now he was here, ready to battle the beast with a new lease on life and a new love in his heart.

  He pulled himself up into the seat and sat, looking out the front window, imagining the landscape passing by as they rushed to a scene. Sure, he’d been on plenty of calls on the rig during his suspension. But the view was different from the cab of the engine.

  He unstrapped his helmet and hung it on the hook behind his head.

  After he’d prepped his gear, he searched out the crew in the day room. Several members of the company were sprawled out on the chairs and couches positioned around the wide-screen television. Loud cheers rang out in response to some exciting action in the hockey game. Stacey and Jake played a rousing game of foosball in the corner and Stacey raised her hands and shouted when she swung her player and shot the ball past Jake’s defenders.

  Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets, leaned back on his heels, and smiled. Even though he’d been on EMS duty for the past sixty days, something had been missing… and that something had now been set right.

  He lay stretched out on the couch several hours later, ignoring whatever game played on the TV, when the alarm bells announced an emergency. The dispatcher’s voice over the loud speaker indicated a fully-engulfed multi-level residential building—an apartment fire. Companies from the surrounding counties would respond, but Company One was closest.

  Every cell tingled, the hair on his arms stood on end, and his skin was too tight for his body. His pulse quickened as he ran toward the garage. Although it was exciting to be back on the engine after sixty days on the sidelines, he wished his first call-out was something smaller and less dangerous, because this fire would test his mettle. He was sure of it. But he had the skills and now that his head was screwed on straight, he was ready to go.

  He leapt into his boots and pants. His body hadn’t forgotten how right this felt. Maybe his worries were for nothing. He had this. He grabbed his turnout coat and jumped onto the engine just before it pulled out of the station.

  The air in the engine sparked with tension. His heart raced and his feet itched to be on the ground, attacking the beast. They just needed to get there already. Only the whir of the siren and the rumble of the engine revving cut through the silence. Huge calls like this were few and far between and so many things could go wrong. On top of that, it was Lucas’s first day back.

  Jake nodded across the seat at Lucas, a stark contrast to the last time he sat here with Jake’s back turned to him. Lucas returned the nod and then drew in a deep breath. The scene would likely be chaos and they’d need to depend on each other. He flexed his fingers, ready… for whatever they faced.

  Chaos couldn’t begin to describe the scene when they arrived. Not even close. Glowing orange and red flames darted out of the first floor windows, licking up the wall toward the second floor. Gray smoke poured from the building into the night air, cloaking the entire scene in a ghostly haze. An omen? Lucas hoped not.

  Mothers with children, fathers with their arms wrapped around their families, and dozens of people huddled under blankets and coats lined the sidewalk, stark protection against the cold November night air. Frantic residents darted across the yard, voices raised in fear, while others stumbled out of the building, coughing and hacking. Before the wheels of the engine even stopped rolling, Lucas pulled open his door and leapt from the truck. Unlike the last fire he’d attended, a calm washed over him and he knew what to do. He’d wait for the captain’s order.

  The captain’s voice rang out loudly over the clamor of the residents and the fire itself. “Gather round… Bennett, you and Romano strap on your tanks. You’re going to clear the building. Justin and Drew, get those hoses laid and hooked up. Stacey put in a call to county dispatch. We’re going to need some more buses here.”

  With two claps from the captain, everyone sprang into action. Lucas pulled an oxygen tank onto his back, the heavy, tight feeling a reminder of what had happened before. To Shawn. And in the barn. Lucas shook his head. He needed to keep his head in the here and now. This fire was the only one that mattered. Lucas finished prepping his gear and then rushed back to the captain. He stood quietly while the captain finished a debrief with the building manager.

  A frantic brown-haired woman ran up to them, her clothing askew. Her eyes were filled with fear as she pulled at Lucas’s arm. “My daughter! She’s still in there. I looked for her and couldn’t find her. I thought she came out but I can’t find her. No one has seen her. She’s still in there. You have to go get her!”

  Another man wrapped his arm around the woman’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Candice. Let’s let these men get to work. We just have to wait.”

  The woman struggled, trying to break free of the man’s grasp. She pulled him closer to the building, toward the fire. Thankfully, the manager grabbed her and dragged her toward the sidewalk.

  For the first time in his life, Lucas knew how that woman felt. If it were Lily trapped in that building, he’d feel equally helpless and frantic. He’d likely be clawing his way back in, just like that mother.

  Captain Craddock turned to Lucas and Jake.

  “Okay, we have a missing resident reported. Girl, aged three or four, apartment 206, southwest corner. Only stairwell is in the middle. Fire originated first floor, northwest corner. Check your signal units and your tanks before you head in. I want that warning right away if one of you is down. I’m not losing you two, you hear me?”

  “Got it, Cap,” they both responded in unison.

  Lucas and Jake secured the straps on their oxygen tanks and DSUs and then cross-checked each other. In the past, Lucas had questioned wasting valuable time with these procedures. He understood now, probably better than anyone, how necessary these safety measures were. Once they’d verified the equipment, they pulled on their masks and headed up the stairs and into the building.

  Heat barreled into Lucas’s body. Although most of the crew complained the first blow of the heat generated by the fire was punishing, Lucas always found it invigorating. He was meant to be here… with Jake by his side. It was times like this when he missed Shawn the most. But he understood now. Shawn died doing what he loved, and it was nobody’s fault. Lucas didn’t do anything wrong, and he couldn’t have prevented what happened. And right now, they had a little girl to rescue.

  Lucas grabbed hold of Jake’s coat, and together, they pushed through the heat and the smoke that filled the lobby toward the stairs at the back. Lucas checked his wrist-mounted compass to confirm their direction and he and Jake climbed the stairs to the second floor.

  They exited the stairwell, only to be smacked in the face with thick plumes of smoke. Lucas c
onfirmed the direction again, tapped Jake’s shoulder and motioned to the right. With heads lowered and the crew’s chatter on their radios, Lucas and Jake made their way down the hall until they reached apartment 206.

  Lucas pressed his hand against the door. The pressure and heat of the fire pushed back. He signaled to Jake then pulled the ax off the back of his turnout coat. Jake stood to one side, Lucas the other. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Once he was ready, he spun around and punched a hole. Fire and smoke leapt through the gap and Lucas jumped back. He drew in another deep breath. I’ve got this.

  Once the initial backdraft blasted through, Lucas swung his ax again and splintered the door. It broke away from the doorframe. He and Jake hustled into the apartment and began a methodical canvas. Each worked their way around the walls, looking in doorways and crevices. Two shrill beeps in his ear signaled fifteen minutes of air left in his tank. At ten minutes, they had to exit the premises, whether they’d found their victim or not. That was not going to happen. Not again.

  Lucas and Jake kept searching. He was running out of time. They would find this little girl. He refused to face that mother and tell her they’d failed. His pulse quickened. Doubt crept into his mind. It was his first day back. He couldn’t lose someone else. Not now. Not when his life was exactly how he wanted it to be.

  He had to think about Sarah. She always calmed him. He had a good reason to get out of here safely. Two good reasons, actually. But he still had no plans to leave empty handed. Not when Lily’s beautiful, laughing face ran through his mind.

  Three beeps echoed in his mask and he checked his air gauge—ten minutes of air left. Time to leave. The Captain’s voice came over the radio.

  “Bennett. Romano. Time to egress. I want a status update! Stat!”

  Just as the Captain’s voice echoed in his ear, Lucas pulled open a closet door. The little girl in question laid slumped unconscious in the corner, blonde curls and red pajamas streaked with smoke. He placed his hand on her chest which rose slightly under his palm.

  “Subject located. Beginning egress now. Have EMS on standby. Breathing shallow.” He gathered her in his arms and rushed toward the door. Lucas pulled his mask off his face and placed it over the girl’s nose and mouth. “Come on, honey. Breathe. Breathe!”

  He observed one weak breath, but that was enough for him. He motioned to Jake and the two of them headed out the door. Together, they rushed down the hall, the urgency increasing with every second they spent inside the inferno. The smoke had thickened and Lucas dropped to the floor, his search for clearer air for the little girl in his arms frantic. He crawled down the hall and pulled the girl along with one arm. When he reached the stairwell, he stopped and placed his mask over her mouth again. “Come on honey. Breathe.”

  Her chest didn’t move.

  Damn. This was not going to happen. Not again. He leapt up, ran out the door and down the stairs.

  They turned the corner into the lobby and flames assaulted them. The room was filled with smoke. They couldn’t see the exit. Jake checked his compass and motioned for Lucas to follow. Together, they made their way to the front door and outside.

  Lucas stumbled down the three stairs with the little girl still in his arms. When he stepped onto the sidewalk, Stacey grabbed the girl and rushed her to a waiting gurney while he moved away from the building. Jake briefed the captain and he gave the all clear signal.

  Lucas wrenched his mask and helmet off, leaned his hands on his knees, and pulled in several deep breaths.

  That was close. A lot closer than he’d expected or wanted. He just knew that he had to get to that girl. To return her to her mother. He kept picturing Sarah on the sidewalk, frantic over Lily. He couldn’t let that happen to a mother. He only hoped it wasn’t too late.

  After catching his breath, he moved further back. He stood for a long time, arms at his side, watching his crewmates fight the fire. The fire called to him, drew him in. The dancing flames hypnotized him and he couldn’t look away. His body reached toward the building, needing to go to it. To fight the beast. Old demons threatened to rear their ugly head, but he tamped them down.

  He’d done everything he could. Now it was up to the rest of them. Water streamed from their hoses onto the bright orange and red flames and the stifling gray smoke that poured out of the building.

  He wasn’t sure how long he stood until the captain approached and placed his hand on Lucas’s shoulder. “We’ve got another bus on its way. Go get your oxygen levels checked out.”

  The captain paused a minute… then turned to leave.

  “Wait, Captain. What about the little girl?”

  The captain lowered his head, the only answer Lucas needed. She hadn’t made it. They’d been too late.

  HOURS LATER, THE fire extinguished, the crew climbed onto the engine for the ride back to the station. No one spoke, the air heavy with the loss of an elderly couple and especially the little girl. Lucas looked to Jake. Jake returned the gaze with a sympathy in his eyes and a squeeze of Lucas’s shoulder. Lucas swiped his hand across his eyes and smudged the smoke that dirtied his face.

  The truck backed into the station and the crew dismounted. Lucas took his time climbing off the truck. He’d left here with confidence in himself and his job. Why did this keep happening to him?

  As his boots hit the floor, the captain tapped him on the shoulder. “How about you stop in and see me after you get your gear stowed?”

  Lucas didn’t answer. No one needed to say anything. They’d all been through fires like this. Like the one that had taken Shawn and today’s that took the little girl tonight and left a mother without her child.

  He trudged to the back of the bay and pulled off his turnout coat and hung it on the hook. It didn’t feel the same as it had when he’d pulled it off the hook a few hours earlier. He lowered his head and closed his eyes for a moment, his hands propped on the wall on either side of his coat.

  He slammed his hand into the wall. “Dammit!”

  His voice echoed through the bay, but no one said a word. They all felt it. The anger, the frustration. The helplessness.

  Lucas flung his helmet to the floor and swept his hand over the shelf, throwing everything into a heap on the floor with a loud bang. “I followed all the rules, and this still happened. God dammit!”

  No one would answer. There was no answer for this kind of useless death.

  Jake placed his hand on Lucas’s shoulder. “You did everything you could, man. You can’t blame yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t go there. This was not your fault.”

  Lucas shook Jake’s hand off before he took a swing at his partner. It wasn’t Jake’s fault, and he wasn’t about to start hitting members of the crew. That was a sure-fire way to get back on the Captain’s radar, probably land him on Dr. James’s couch again. He had to stifle the urge building in his gut to do something really stupid.

  Wait. He had something. He knew what he needed to do. He grabbed his car keys and cell phone out of his duffle. On the way out the bay doors, he yelled to Jake. “I’ve got to get out of here. Tell the Captain I’ll check in later.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  The sound woke Sarah from where she dozed on the couch. It was late, but she’d stayed up in case Lucas called or stopped by. He wasn’t always able to check in when he was on duty, but she wanted the few minutes with him if he could. She pulled back the curtains and peeked out the front window. His truck sat at the curb. Even if she only had a few minutes with Lucas, she’d take them. She’d come to need contact with him before she could sleep at night, just a brief opportunity to connect and to know that he was safe and he was thinking about her.

  She threw open the door.

  “Lucas, what a nice…” Her smile faltered. He stepped across the threshold and grabbed her, crashing his mouth down on hers. After she recovered from the shock, she met his kiss stroke for stroke until he relaxed his lips and pulled back enough to rest hi
s head on hers. His eyes were closed, his breathing ragged, and his hands remained on either side of her head. He must have just gotten back from a call. A bad one, she would guess, based on the smoke smudges on his cheek.

  The smell of smoke lingered in the air.

  “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” He didn’t move. She reached behind him and pushed the door closed before leading him to the couch. He slumped down.

  This was unlike Lucas.

  Lucas propped his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair before hanging his head between his hands. “Where’s Lily?”

  “She’s sleeping. She’s alright. What’s going on?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he leapt up and rushed down the hall. Sarah sank onto the couch. Her hands shook and she clasped them in her lap. This wasn’t about her. Something was wrong with Lucas and she needed to be here for him like he’d been there for her.

  Lucas returned a few minutes later and paced into the kitchen and back out.

  “Honey, please sit down. Tell me what’s going on.”

  He propped on the edge of the couch, his knees bouncing.

  “I needed to see you.” He leapt up and wore a path across the room before stalking back and sitting beside her again. “I, uh… I just got back from a call.”

  “You’re scaring me. What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” She wrapped her hand around his and sat quietly. She waited, not sure how to respond to this distressed and dismayed Lucas. She leaned her head against his, her breath matching his ragged one.

  His hands trembled beneath hers and she squeezed tighter.

  “An apartment building caught fire. On the outskirts of town. Four stories, more than thirty units. Families. Senior Citizens. Fully engulfed. It was awful.”

  “Oh, Lucas. I’m so sorry.” Her heart ached for the families. And every bit of fear and grief that she’d experienced when Alex died flooded back. She pushed those feelings down… this was about Lucas, not her. “Were there any fatalities?”