Chasing Hope Read online

“It’s not a problem. Sofia had such a good time with your family on Saturday. She hasn’t stopped going on and on about it.”

  Wanda’s opening was just what Maddie needed. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you today. I wanted to explore the possibilities of spending more time with Sofia.”

  Wanda’s expression didn’t betray any reaction. Much like Maddie’s therapist, Wanda simply sat back, letting the silence take over the space between them. Her expression finally softened. “What were you thinking?”

  “I wanted to talk about Sofia’s status. I know there are no parents waiting for her to come back home, right?”

  “Right.”

  Maddie sucked in a deep breath and pressed her hand over her stomach, trying to calm the acid building in her gut. When she’d envisioned growing her family, it was in the traditional way. She never in a thousand years could have predicted the conversation she was having right now. But spending the day with Sofia made her realize there was more than one way to fulfill her dreams. “I want to explore what it takes to become a foster parent.”

  Wanda’s raised eyebrows were the only indication that Maddie’s words had surprised her. “I have to tell you. I didn’t expect this. But I’m pleased that you’re considering becoming a foster family.”

  Family, yeah, that word might be the problem. “It certainly wasn’t on my radar at first but I’m expanding my options right now.”

  “This is not a decision to make lightly. Fostering isn’t for everyone. Opening your home to a child who may leave in one week or one month or one year. It can be heart-wrenching at times. It takes a strong person to withstand losing someone they feel has become part of their family.”

  “But it can be wonderful and rewarding, too, right?” Maddie chose to focus on the positive aspects of this situation and not the risks. She knew she could handle it if Sofia found a forever home before they decided whether that home was with them.

  “Of course.”

  “What does it take to become a foster parent?”

  Wanda slid open a desk drawer and pulled out a packet of papers. “If you’re really serious about fostering, this paperwork will walk you through the process. It involves background checks for you and your husband and a home study to assess the viability of your home for placing a foster child. There will be an in-depth evaluation of your family picture to ensure it’s a proper environment for a child. I’m sure you’ll pass all those steps with no problem. You and your husband are the perfect candidates.”

  “About that…” How could she phrase this in a way that didn’t jeopardize her chances? She wished Justin were sitting beside her today, his hand in hers as they made this request together. But she knew, deep down in her soul, that he would be supportive of this step. He’d been hesitant when they first ran into Sofia on Saturday, but in the end, he'd enjoyed the time the four of them spent together. “What if it’s just me?”

  Wanda leaned her elbows on her desk, the vee between her eyebrows growing more pronounced. “What do you mean?”

  How did she explain this so she didn’t ruin her opportunity? “The thing is… Justin isn’t living at home right now.”

  “You’re separated?”

  “Not officially. We’re taking a break to relieve some tension in the family. But we’re talking and, as you’ve seen on more than one occasion, spending time together as a family. I’m sure he’ll be moving back home soon.” She could only hope. He’d said he’d wanted the same, and after Saturday night, he had to be closer than ever to making that decision.

  “We certainly do have single foster parents—being married isn’t a requirement—but it does concern me that Sofia would be going into an unstable home.”

  “It’s not unstable. I promise. You’ve met Aiden. He’s the most well-adjusted kid you could ever know. And this is just a small bump in the road that we’re working through. By the time the application process is complete, I’m sure everything will be back to normal.”

  “And your husband is supportive of this process?” Maddie couldn’t blame Wanda for being skeptical. If only she’d had a chance to bring this up with Justin yesterday. But since she hadn’t, she could use this time to present the complete picture of what she envisioned, including the steps they would have to take.

  “Absolutely.” He would be… as soon as she discussed it with him.

  “Well, I see that as encouraging.” She extended her hand, the foster family application between her fingers. “Take this information and get started on the paperwork. You and your husband’s background checks would be the first step.”

  Maddie leafed through the extensive list of tasks that had to be completed and her heart fell. So many pages. “This looks like it takes forever. And while we’re waiting, Sofia is stuck here in the group home. Is there anything we could do while we’re waiting? I’d love to spend more time with her while we’re going through the process.”

  Wanda bit her lip and tilted her head, like she was trying to come up with a solution. “I could conduct a preliminary home visit and we could then set up a temporary visitation schedule, if that works for you. No overnights right now, but I think Sofia spending some time in your home would be positive for both of you. I’ve seen you with her at the shelter and then at the festival. You’re good for each other. And being with her will give you a taste of what you’re signing up for as a foster parent.”

  Maddie couldn’t stop the smile that grew on her face. That sounded like something they could tackle while she worked on her ultimate goal… and Justin. Maddie leapt to her feet and extended her hand to Wanda. “Thanks so much. You have no idea how much this means to me. I look forward to hearing back about the home visit. Please tell Sofia I said hello and I can’t wait to see her again.”

  “I will, and Maddie…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Think about everything I said. Make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons.”

  “I will. I promise.” She doubted she would think about anything else.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Justin wore a path across the floor of the cottage. A place that felt uncomfortable to him now. Perhaps that was his conscience pushing him to do what he thought he was ready to do—move back home. He and Maddie hadn’t addressed all of their issues, including the elephant in the room, but they had reached a place where they were equipped to tackle the difficult subjects together.

  So what was holding him back? Why was he still here instead of at home with his family? Well, right now the answer was immediate. In a few minutes, he and the girls would be meeting the half-sister they didn’t know they had until last summer. He’d been struggling with bringing this woman who only existed because their father had been unfaithful to their mother into their lives. He wanted to hate her, to let her live her own life while they lived theirs, but it wasn’t her fault their father was a bastard, any more than it was his. He just had to keep reminding himself of that, that she was a victim of their father, too, as the clock ticked closer to the hour.

  The doorbell rang and he startled to a stop on his third trip across the room. Izzy, Serena, and Alexis all stumbled through the door, laughs and chatter between them as if they weren’t tormented by what was about to happen like he was. Maybe they weren’t. During the years he was home, he’d tried to protect them from their father’s anger and shield them from being hurt. If only he could look at this situation with the same light-hearted approach his sisters did.

  He caught Izzy’s eye and saw something there, a wariness that told him she wasn’t as unaffected as she let on. He smiled and nodded at her. She returned the gesture.

  It was only then that he saw what they carried—a pitcher of iced tea, a plate of cookies, and a platter of cheese and crackers. Damn. He should have thought of putting food out for Rachel. Typically, that was something Maddie would have taken care of. And she probably would have, had their relationship been in a better place. But things were pretty good between them right now and he didn’t want to
break the fragile peace with a situation that might resolve itself before she ever got involved.

  His sisters hurried around, setting everything up on the coffee table and chatting among themselves… while he stood back, his arm propped on the mantel, his hand running through his hair. He had to get his act together. He owed it to Izzy, Serena, and Alexis… and he owed it to Rachel. She didn’t deserve to be confronted with this grumpy big brother.

  The doorbell rang again and the girls froze. It would have been almost comical if the situation weren’t so serious. On the other side of that door was their sister. As soon as he opened it, their lives would be changed forever.

  Izzy urged him along with her expression and Serena vibrated with barely restrained excitement. There was no going back now.

  He crossed the room and after drawing in a deep breath, he pulled the door open. On the porch stood a woman with long, dark hair, her hands clenched in front of her and her eyes lowered. Beside her, a taller man had his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. He leaned over and whispered in her ear and Rachel’s head snapped up, her eyes wide and her mouth formed into an O.

  He was staring at her like an idiot. Get your head in the game. He extended his hand. “You must be Rachel. I’m Justin, your, uh, your brother.”

  The man on the porch nudged Rachel and she took his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Rachel. This is Sawyer.”

  Justin extended his hand, and Sawyer shook it. “Nice to meet you. Sawyer Truman.”

  Justin stared at Rachel for another minute. When he looked closely, he could see bits of his father in her face. But he doubted she wanted to be reminded of the reason this whole entire situation was such a mess in the first place.

  “Gosh, Justin, are you going to block the door all night or are you going to let them in?” Serena pushed by him and greeted Rachel and Sawyer. “I’m sorry for my big brother. I’m Serena. Come on in.”

  Serena shoved him out of the doorway and escorted Rachel and Sawyer into the cottage. Thank God she’d broken the ice or he might have stood there, staring at his new sister, all night. Once everyone was inside, he shut the door and made his way back to his spot in front of the fireplace, watching as his sisters fussed over Rachel. His sister. Their sister. He looked at the four girls, all different but all sharing a common bond—their father.

  Before tonight, he had been concerned about meeting Rachel. About opening old wounds that had barely healed over, but now that she was here, a sense of rightness settled deep in his gut. Serena and Izzy had been right to not put this off any longer. This girl who hadn’t known the circumstances of her birth was not to blame for the awkwardness they currently found themselves in.

  “Izzy, Serena, Alexis, how about you give Rachel a chance to breathe? Dealing with one of you at a time can be a lot for a person, but all three of you at once? Even I can barely handle that. And I grew up with you.”

  His sisters laughed, but they backed off, retreating to chairs around the room, leaving Rachel and Sawyer on the couch. Rachel… also his sister… threw him a look of appreciation. An unexpected surge of protectiveness rose up in him. This girl, his father’s daughter, was someone else he needed to look after.

  Once everyone was settled, a silence fell over the room. Rachel fiddled with her hands in her lap and Sawyer whispered in her ear. Alexis bit her lip in a way that betrayed her nervousness. Serena was perched on the edge of her chair, looking as though she wanted to pounce on Rachel the moment she thought Rachel could handle it. And Izzy leaned back, nibbling on a cookie. Justin caught her eye and glanced toward the table.

  “Oh.” Izzy hopped up and grabbed a couple of glasses. “Would you like some iced tea? A cookie or some cheese and crackers?”

  Rachel smiled and nodded. Serena leapt to her feet and poured tea for everyone. What Justin wouldn’t give for a beer right about now, but the tension was thick enough in the room, and there was no telling how alcohol would add to it. Rachel may or may not know about their father’s drinking, and it certainly wasn’t a “first meeting” topic.

  Once everyone was settled, Serena dove in. “Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, Rachel?”

  Could this conversation be more uncomfortable? “Way to put her on the spot, Serena.”

  “No, Justin, really, it’s all right. I don’t think there’s a manual for how a meeting like this is supposed to go.” Rachel laughed and Justin relaxed his stiff shoulders. “Let’s see. I’ve lived in Oak Grove my entire life with my Mom and Dad. I have three older brothers.”

  Izzy rolled her eyes a bit overdramatically and smirked at Justin. “Oh my gosh, three. One is bad enough.”

  Justin smiled. He knew that was love behind Izzy’s statement, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. These were his sisters… all of them… and he loved them all.

  “It wasn’t too bad. Sawyer was friends with my brothers growing up. It was like he was a member of the family.”

  Serena nodded toward Rachel’s hand. “It looks like he’s actually going to be a member of the family.”

  A smile grew on Rachel’s face. She extended her hand and stared at her finger. “Yeah. Sawyer just proposed. We haven’t even told my family, er, my other family yet.”

  His sisters congratulated Rachel, and just like that, he let out a breath he felt like he’d been holding since Rachel first knocked on the door. Justin was happy his little sister had found someone to love. Someone to love her.

  And this situation was going to be okay, too.

  “So, Rachel, I understand you go to UPenn.” He was pleased Alexis finally joined the conversation.

  Another big smile. Rachel seemed happy. Really happy with her life. Maybe it was for the best that Dad hadn’t been a part of it. She hadn’t been subjected to the drinking and the yelling and the arguments like they had.

  “Yeah, I’m almost done with my degree.”

  “Oh yeah, what are you studying?” Izzy joined in the conversation. Justin would let the sisters get to know each other first before he added his own two cents.

  “I’m studying psychology. I hope to be a clinical psychologist someday. I had great inspiration from, well, a local counselor. She’s my sister-in-law now, too.” Her smile fell and Sawyer leaned close again, whispering in her ear. There was definitely something else going on behind that conversation. But it was clear Rachel had a good match in Sawyer.

  To be that young again. Justin hadn’t been that attentive to Maddie since they’d been that age. When life was simpler. But Justin hadn’t paid enough attention to Maddie recently. What if he had? Would they be where they were now, so bogged down that they’d lost sight of who they were as a couple? Thank God they were finding their way back to each other. He wanted what Rachel had with Sawyer. What Izzy had with Tanner.

  “Justin?” Serena’s voice broke through his haze.

  “Huh?” He’d spaced out and lost track of the conversation, consumed with what he needed to do to solidify his marriage. To fix the final cracks and come out the other side stronger.

  “Rachel was asking about Aiden. She was showing us pictures of her nieces.”

  Alexis and Izzy had moved so they were hunched over the couch behind Rachel, and Serena had leaned in close. Izzy’s hand was extended over Rachel’s shoulder and she was brushing her thumb over her phone, laughing at what he presumed was pictures of Hayley.

  He whipped out his phone and unlocked the screen. Of course he had pictures of Aiden. He couldn’t resist his son’s bright, innocent grin. He rounded the couch and shoved in between Izzy and Alexis.

  “Hey.” Alexis elbowed him but her features were relaxed. His sisters had stepped up, welcoming Rachel into their family, each in their own way.

  Justin thrust his hand over the couch so Rachel could see his son. “This is Aiden. He’s five. He’s bright and spunky and loves to laugh and go to school.”

  He swiped his finger, and the next photo was of the three of them. Aiden must have barely been four. Justin did
n’t even remember when this shot was taken or who’d taken it. His arm was snaked around Maddie’s waist. She had her hands on Aiden’s shoulders and was smiling down at their son. But instead of looking at the camera, Justin was admiring his wife. He missed those days, when being together was so easy.

  They were on their way back there. He just knew it.

  “I love seeing all your kids and significant others. I’d, uh, I’d love to meet them sometime. If, uh, that’s what you guys want.” Rachel’s voice was hesitant, like she wasn’t sure whether this would be the only time they got together.

  That just wouldn’t do. He rounded the couch and slid onto the coffee table so he could look Rachel in the eye. She might not feel it yet, but she was a member of this family. The sooner she understood what that meant, the better. They stuck together, through the good and the bad.

  “Of course we’d love you to meet everybody else. We would have included them today, but we didn’t want you to be overwhelmed. We weren’t sure how you were feeling about all of this and wanted to ease you in to our brand of craziness.”

  Rachel leaned back into Sawyer. “My family is the same. The eight of us plus two kids already and Lucas’s wife Sarah is pregnant again. We try to get together on Sundays and it’s loud and great and wonderful. I’d love you to meet my family… my other family. Your significant others… and your kids. Maybe we can meet up at my parents’ house in Oak Grove. I know they’d be thrilled for you to come out.”

  Justin wasn’t sure how he would feel meeting the woman his father had cheated with, but it was time to put those resentments aside. That was long past over, Dad was gone, and Rachel was sitting in front of him, a hopeful look on her face. He made quick eye contact with his other sisters, and after smiles and nods, he was confident in his response. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’d love that. I know it’ll be hard to work around everyone’s schedule, but we’ll make it happen.”

  Rachel sighed and sagged back into the couch. “This has gone so much better than I expected.”